1
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:45,240
Ugh...

2
00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:47,640
Are you going to text him crap
all night?

3
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:49,200
You're seeing him in, like, like
half an hour.

4
00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:51,600
Er, his fiancee left him two weeks
before his wedding.

5
00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:53,000
Maybe he's a bit upset.

6
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:55,560
Right, and you're cheering him up,
are you? It's called being a friend.

7
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,040
By sending him videos of horses
having sex with donkeys.

8
00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:00,320
That's right, and pigs.
JONNY LAUGHS

9
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:05,200
GRUNTING AND WHINNYING

10
00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:07,360
Thanks for that. Any time.

11
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,960
There's a leak in the loft.

12
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,520
Is it Brad Pitt?
I think it's Brad Pitt.

13
00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:14,520
Yeah, a roof tile must have cracked
or something.

14
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,080
Maybe the connecting membrane's
started to rot or...

15
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:21,120
Please, go on. Yes, this is most
interesting. Prannies.

16
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,680
Oh, Jonny, Mum said you've got a
friend coming tonight.

17
00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:27,000
Um, Stanley. Stanley? Close.
His name's Ben.

18
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:28,400
Oh, yes. Ben.

19
00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:30,040
I hear his fiancee just pissed off.

20
00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,880
Er, maybe don't say that when you
see him. Poor bastard.

21
00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:34,120
But do say that.

22
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,920
Hi, boys. Hi, Mum.

23
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:38,600
SHE MAKES ELONGATED KISSING NOISE

24
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,200
Thank's for saying Ben could come.

25
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:43,560
Aw, anything to cheer poor Benny-boo
up.

26
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:47,200
Oh, but it's OK. Jonny's been
sending him some lovely nature
videos.

27
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:48,560
Have you? Yes.

28
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:49,840
PIERCING ALARM

29
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,080
Ah! What is that?

30
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:52,920
Blinking hell.

31
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:54,400
Shitting thing!

32
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,880
What is that noise? Bloody smoke
alarm.

33
00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:59,040
It keeps going off.
Where's the big carrot?

34
00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:00,680
The big carrot?!

35
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,880
Oh, Martin, just use the spoon.

36
00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,640
Bingo! Oh, please, change the
batteries!

37
00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,160
Jackie, it's not the batteries.

38
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:08,440
ALARM IS SILENCED

39
00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:11,200
It must be the batteries. It's not
the bleeding batteries,

40
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:12,520
it's the wire.

41
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:15,640
Well, whatever it bleeding is, it's
giving me a bleeding heart attack.

42
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,680
Every bleeding five minutes. Argh!

43
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:21,320
Sorry, the big carrot?

44
00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:22,760
Well, it's the perfect size, isn't
it?

45
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,760
Ah, yes the perfect-sized carrot
for deactivating smoke alarms.

46
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:26,920
Morons.

47
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,440
Him and that bloody carrot.

48
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:33,040
Right, so, are you two berks going
to help me clean up that muck in the
loft then?

49
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:35,920
Uh, sorr-ee! Yes. Sorr-ee!

50
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:37,280
Shitheads.

51
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:38,960
JACKIE GROANS

52
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,680
Boys, can we lock your dad
up in that loft?

53
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,200
SHE CACKLES

54
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:49,160
What? What's that thing.
Yes, what is that thing?

55
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,320
My new table.

56
00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:51,520
Don't you like it?

57
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:55,240
It's hideous. And revolting.
Thank you.
JONNY'S PHONE BEEPS

58
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,960
What's wrong with it? Cool.
Ben's just got in the cab.

59
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,360
Well, this won't be a depressing
evening(!) Er, shut up.

60
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,280
Yeah, Adam, don't be so mean.

61
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:05,320
It's horrible being dumped. I
remember the first time I was
dumped.

62
00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,080
Ah, ah, we don't want to know.
No way.

63
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:10,320
I'm sorry? Mum, we don't want to
hear about you and other men.

64
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:12,160
Oh, God. Mum with other men.

65
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,400
All right, you make it sound like
I'm an at an orgy!

66
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,280
Oh, God, Mum at an orgy! Jesus, Mum!
JACKIE CACKLES

67
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:19,280
Bloody, bloody hell.

68
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,560
Are you all right, Martin? Yeah.

69
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:23,480
What's in the bag? What?

70
00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:27,240
Oh, nothing, I just, er, found
something up there.

71
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:28,920
Something? A dead crow.

72
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:30,080
ALL EXCLAIM IN DISGUST

73
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:31,520
WINGS FLAP IN BAG

74
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,840
THEY SCREAM
Er...

75
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,560
Dying crow. Oh...

76
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:40,400
Well, I had to put it out of its
misery somehow, didn't I?

77
00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,120
You banged it on the head
with a hammer.

78
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:45,120
What else am I meant to bang on the
head with, a tin of spaghetti?

79
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,120
Hmm, isn't it nice up here?

80
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:50,200
Poor crow. Honestly, Jonny,
it was half dead already.

81
00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:53,720
Its wing was all bust, its
entrails... All right.

82
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,000
Where'd you put it? In a sandwich.

83
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,480
Where do you think I put it?
In the bloody bin, you dullard.

84
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:01,240
Well, I hope you washed your hands.
Sorry?

85
00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,560
He didn't wash his hands.
He didn't wash his hands.

86
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,840
OK, er, that stuff over there.
JONNY'S PHONE BEEPS

87
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:09,360
It's all wet. It needs to go over
here.

88
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:12,120
I'll do it then, shall I? Mmm?

89
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,680
Isn't he here yet? Is that Stanley?

90
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:17,840
Yes, Dad, it's Stanley.

91
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:21,240
It's going to be fun having someone
really depressed round for dinner(!)

92
00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:23,280
He's just had to pull over
to have a cry actually.

93
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,400
Fun! Poor sod, losing his female
like that.

94
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,680
"Female." Talking of females...

95
00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:32,160
Dad! Any females? Yes! Really? Now?
Take it that's a no then.

96
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:35,080
Of course it's a no.
Pusface never has a female.

97
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,440
JONNY LAUGHS
Thank you, Dr Sex.

98
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:38,480
Pusface!

99
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,280
Oh! What is that?

100
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,080
What is that? Jesus!

101
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:46,520
Oh! You found him! You've found him!

102
00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:50,080
Can't believe it! Is it a scarecrow?

103
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:53,320
A scarecrow? No, you berk.
It's Lord Luck!

104
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,040
HE LAUGHS

105
00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:56,280
Jackie!

106
00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,800
Jackie! They've found Lord Luck!

107
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,840
Who's Lord Luck?

108
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,200
MARTIN HIGH PITCHED: Bugger off!

109
00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,560
Bugger off! Bugger off!

110
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,800
That's the catchphrase then.
Is that all he says?

111
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:10,960
Um, I think it was generally
bugger-related, yes.

112
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:15,680
And you can bugger off too! See?
Isn't he terrific? Horrific.

113
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:19,400
To think he must have been all on
his own in that loft for, what, 20
years?

114
00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:21,560
He can go up there
for another 20 years if you like.

115
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,120
Bugger off!

116
00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:25,880
And you actually used to play with
that thing, did you? What?

117
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:28,760
Only all the time. He took it
on our first date. Your first date?

118
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:29,920
And you had a second date?

119
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,280
JACKIE LAUGHS

120
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:35,440
We made love all night! Martin!

121
00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:38,040
Oh, I've missed you, Lord Luck.
I've really missed you.

122
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,280
Go bugger yourself!
MARTIN LAUGHS

123
00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:41,800
Just put the crisps out, will you?

124
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:43,360
Mmm! Tasty burgers!

125
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,320
MUNCHING SOUND

126
00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:48,720
Yes, you really are a master
of ventriloquism(!)

127
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:50,280
JACKIE LAUGHS

128
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:53,000
You can laugh, but this takes
a hell of a lot of practice.

129
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,400
What, to be that crap?
Bugger off, you bugger!

130
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:56,880
DOORBELL RINGS

131
00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,840
It's Ben. Bugger off! Martin!

132
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:04,080
Coming! All right, everyone just be
nice and friendly, OK?

133
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,400
And put that bloody thing away.

134
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:08,680
We're meant to be cheering him up,
not giving him nightmares.

135
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:11,560
Put it away, Jackie? Lord Luck
is exactly what the boy needs right
now.

136
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:14,440
If he wants to have a coronary.
DOORBELL RINGS

137
00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:16,440
Put it away.

138
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,640
Oh, it's you.

139
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,080
Hello, Jackie.
Something smells nice.

140
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:25,360
Jim, it's not a great time.
Yeah, we're quite busy.

141
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:30,920
No, it's just I found something in
your drive that might belong to you.

142
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,440
Really?

143
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,160
Oh.

144
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,680
A pound.

145
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,280
Erm, thanks, Jim.

146
00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,120
Might there be a reward? A what?

147
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,760
For finding the lost coin.

148
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,680
How about a pound, Jim? A pound?

149
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:51,240
Hmm... Yes, that seems fair.

150
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,960
Thank you, Jackie.

151
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,800
Right, well, we are expecting
a guest, so...

152
00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:01,720
Ah, a guest. Jim...

153
00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:02,840
Bugger off!

154
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:08,480
Little talking man!
Little talking man!

155
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,200
HE CRIES

156
00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:12,560
He's a little talking man!

157
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:20,000
Jim? Yeah, it's me, Jackie. I do
hope you're OK.

158
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,160
Can you call me, please?

159
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:23,840
Thanks.

160
00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,240
God, you are such an idiot,
Martin. Me?

161
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:29,960
How was I to know the man would be
frightened of a... Terrifying voodoo
doll.

162
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,840
And you can bugger off too. Right...
Jackie...

163
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:34,920
Jackie!

164
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,920
Goodbye forever. Yeah, so long!

165
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,360
That thing stays in there.

166
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,600
All right?

167
00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:44,400
All right? All right.

168
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:46,400
Bloody all right.
DOORBELL RINGS

169
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,280
It's Ben. I mean it. It's Ben.

170
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,200
Hey, mate! Hey.

171
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,280
JONNY LAUGHS

172
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:59,960
Yes! Hello, Ben. Aw! Thanks
for letting me come tonight, Jackie.

173
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:04,600
Don't be silly, Benny. It's lovely
to see you again. Isn't it lovely?

174
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:06,560
Yeah. Hi, man. Pusface.

175
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:09,240
Great(!) Hello, Stanley.

176
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:13,400
Stanley? It's Ben. Oh, yes, Ben.
Sorry you're all depressed.

177
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,160
Thanks. Now, I've made you
a lovely lasagne.

178
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,840
Vegetarian, haven't forgotten.
Thanks, Jackie.

179
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:22,720
HE BLOWS NOSE LOUDLY

180
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,760
Sorry, have you got anywhere
I can put these disgusting things?

181
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,440
Yes, my wife will eat them.
HE LAUGHS

182
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:32,160
Martin! Ignore him,
sweetie. Come through. Thanks.

183
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:35,520
Do you like ventriloquism? Pardon?

184
00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:38,160
Cos if you do, you're going
to love this. Oi!

185
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,680
I'm so sorry you're having such
a hard time and...

186
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,040
PIERCING ALARM

187
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,280
THEY SCREAM

188
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:48,080
Again! What's that noise?
Oh, smoke alarm! Martin! I am sorry.

189
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:51,520
Oh, shitting thing. Have you seen
a big carrot? A big what?

190
00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:55,040
Just use the spoon!
I'm not using a spoon. Here.

191
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,280
Maybe you should change
the batteries. What?

192
00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,880
Maybe you should change
the batteries! What?!

193
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:01,600
MAYBE YOU SHOULD CHANGE
THE BATTERIES!

194
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:02,720
ALARM IS SILENCED

195
00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,400
It's not the batteries, it's the
wire.

196
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,040
OK. Well, why don't you change
the wire then?

197
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,440
Cos I don't have a freaking wire,
do I?

198
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:12,360
Do I look like I have a freaking
wire? All right! God! Martin!

199
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:15,000
We've got a guest! Oh, yes, sorry.

200
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:17,280
So, are you, erm...

201
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,000
..still depressed? Er...

202
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:22,960
Great start(!) So...

203
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,120
Oh, of course, here.

204
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,360
Yeah, it keeps going off,
the stupid thing.

205
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,000
God knows what's wrong with...
Erm...

206
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,680
Is that a dead crow in the bin?

207
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:37,600
Sorry? Dad...
There's a dead crow in the bin.

208
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:40,960
You put the crow in the bin?
The kitchen bin? What?

209
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,760
Why is there a crow in the bin?
I killed it.

210
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,000
Well, where should I have put it?
You killed him?

211
00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:51,560
Er, not in that bin, the outside
bin! Sorry, killed a crow? Why?

212
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:55,920
How? It wasn't well. With a hammer.
A hammer? Come through, darling.

213
00:09:55,960 --> 00:10:00,080
He killed a crow with a hammer!
Come on, my love.

214
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:01,840
Fun(!)
ADAM LAUGHS

215
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:05,280
I don't understand why he didn't
just call the animal people

216
00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:08,200
or something. Oh, it was very ill,
wasn't it, Martin?

217
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,440
It was when I finished with it.
HE LAUGHS

218
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:14,560
Oh! Mmm.

219
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:21,760
Um, sorry, mate, about, you know,
Lucy and everything. I'm all right.

220
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:25,080
Yeah, of course he's all right.

221
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:29,320
Obviously, when I say I'm all right,
I mean I'm not all right. I'm awful.

222
00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:33,160
The worst I've ever been in my life.

223
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:35,320
Ever.

224
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,720
So, yeah...

225
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,760
MARTIN CHEWS CRISPS

226
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,840
Terrible about the economy
at the moment.

227
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:47,680
JONNY LAUGHS

228
00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:52,440
Hey, Ben, do you remember when we
made Pusface eat all that talcum
powder?

229
00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:55,240
What? And he literally couldn't
breathe. Oh, yeah.

230
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:58,440
Yes, I enjoyed that.
Clawing for oxygen.
GIGGLING

231
00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,920
What about when we buttered
the kitchen floor? Oh, God!

232
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,320
Buttering the floor.

233
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:07,600
Sorry, mate. No, it was cool.
Almost shattering my pelvis.

234
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:09,000
JACKIE LAUGHS

235
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:10,720
They were the good old days,
eh, mate?

236
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:12,240
JACKIE LAUGHS

237
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,760
But now it's the bad old days.

238
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:20,720
The rubbish, terrible,
"what is the point any more?" days.

239
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:26,720
Not depressing(!) Why don't you have
a crisp? Oh, yeah, thanks.

240
00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:28,080
I'm really hungry.

241
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:30,320
Oh, sorry.

242
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:36,600
Do you mind if I have one of those
oranges? Oh, no, of course, my love.

243
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:39,600
You don't need to ask. Thanks.

244
00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:41,560
Oh, they're really juicy.

245
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:46,040
HE SLURPS

246
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,000
Dinner really won't be long.

247
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:54,920
HE SLURPS

248
00:11:56,400 --> 00:12:00,360
Have a nice little bowl... Oh.
..for that orange.

249
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:05,240
Lucy always used to make me
use a bowl when I had my orange.

250
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:08,640
I loved her so much.

251
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,280
What did I do wrong?

252
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:15,000
What did I do wrong?
HE SOBS

253
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:20,480
HE SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY

254
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:22,120
I know.

255
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,560
She just dumps me like that!

256
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:30,560
Text me on my stag. My own stag do.

257
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:35,040
And now I'm just left with this
stupid pile of presents,

258
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:38,360
just sitting there looking at me,
mocking me!

259
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:43,920
I've got to get her back!
I've got to get her back!

260
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,480
MARTIN CLEARS THROAT
Bugger off!

261
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:48,800
BEN SCREAMS AND SHATTERS TABLE

262
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,840
JACKIE SCREAMS
Bugger.

263
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:58,480
Um... You missed some there.

264
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,120
Oh, you mean there?

265
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,280
Ow! Sorry, Pusface!

266
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:06,880
Adam?

267
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,720
Do you think Ben's all right?

268
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,600
Erm... I'm not sure he's having
the greatest night of his life.

269
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,800
The boy just needs
a proper cheering up.

270
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,400
That's why Lord Luck...
Don't touch that cupboard.

271
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,000
I think that's
the last of the glass.

272
00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:23,680
Aw, thank you, sweetie.

273
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,640
And look. Ta-da!

274
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,240
Oh, lasagne. Amazing.

275
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:31,280
And again, I'm so sorry
I broke your lovely table.

276
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,000
It wasn't lovely.

277
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:34,160
Horrible.

278
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:38,120
Crow's still in the bin. What?

279
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,360
Martin! I told you to take it out.

280
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,440
All right! It's not going
to go anywhere, is it?

281
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:46,400
Just take the bloody thing out and
put it in the outside bloody bin!

282
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,520
Yeah, Dad. Fuss about nothing.

283
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:49,960
I am sorry.

284
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,640
ALL YELL

285
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:53,600
Put it back! Put it back! What?

286
00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:57,480
What? Put the bloody thing back!
Oh, my God! Jesus, Dad.

287
00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:00,080
Take it out, don't take it out.
What do you want me to do?

288
00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:01,360
DOORBELL RINGS

289
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,200
Just get the bloody door, will you?

290
00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,840
Now I've got to get the bloody door.
Honestly!

291
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:06,880
Christ.

292
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:08,280
Ow!

293
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:10,840
Oh, hi, Jim.

294
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,400
You all right?

295
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,120
Help.

296
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:22,760
So when you opened the door,

297
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,920
I saw the little man.
I was terror-stricken.

298
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,280
I know, Jim.

299
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:30,920
I had to change my trousers because
I'd filled them all up with wee-wee.

300
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:32,240
How lovely.

301
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,560
Well, now you know -
nothing to be scared of.

302
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,720
Yes. Nothing to be scared of!

303
00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:38,160
It's only Lord Luck.

304
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,560
HIGH-PITCHED: Bugger off!

305
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,920
Has he been talking for long?

306
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:47,560
Jim, haven't you seen
one of those before?

307
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,680
You mean there are others?

308
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,480
Sorry?

309
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:53,600
Will dinner be much longer?

310
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:55,720
Oh, sorry, love.

311
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,240
Any minute.

312
00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:58,320
Jackie...

313
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:00,960
Is he another one of the brothers?

314
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,800
What? A new one?

315
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:04,960
No, Jim. That's...

316
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,680
Jonny's very depressed friend.

317
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:12,560
Martin, would you mind if I had
a little go with Lord Lucky?

318
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,640
Lord Luck? Lucky, Luck.

319
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:17,000
Sure, Jim. This will be good.

320
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,160
He's not saying anything.

321
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,400
You're meant to
move the lips up and down.

322
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,480
Hurrhrrgh...

323
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:33,120
No, Jim. His lips - while you talk.

324
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:44,240
The butter's off! The butter's off!

325
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,880
It was "bugger off". Was it?

326
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:50,760
Bugger off!

327
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,200
BEN BLOWS HIS NOSE

328
00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,840
Sorry. Just need to...
Of course, love.

329
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:02,840
OK. Well, we...

330
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:05,360
Oh, God! Ben?

331
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,840
Oh, Wilson!

332
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,280
WILSON WHIMPERS

333
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:21,840
Kitchen was like
a bloody murder scene.

334
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:25,080
All right, Dad.
Guts and innards all over the shop.

335
00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:26,640
Er, shut up.

336
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,640
Have some more of
your lasagne, sweetie.

337
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,560
Thanks, but
I'm not that hungry anymore.

338
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:32,840
I wonder why.

339
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,040
It's very nice, Jackie.

340
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,280
Thank you, Martin.

341
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,400
Lovely bit of crow, eh, Ben?

342
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:42,960
Oh, God. Dad!

343
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,880
Actually, the Lithuanians
are the ones that eat crows.

344
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:51,160
Dad! Martin! The boy doesn't want to
know about Lithuanians eating crows.

345
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,480
What?

346
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,680
Apparently they say
it increases sexual potency.

347
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:56,880
Really?

348
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,840
So, you know, next time you and
your lady are out for dinner...

349
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,280
I haven't got a lady
at the moment, have I?

350
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,480
Oh, yeah. Shit. Martin!

351
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,080
Do you think Lucy will come back?

352
00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:09,280
Pardon?

353
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,960
Do you think she'll come back to me?

354
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:16,000
Course she'll come back to you.
Won't she?

355
00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:18,200
Definitely. Yeah.

356
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:20,400
She probably just needs, um...

357
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,400
you know, time to think.

358
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:23,680
Time to think.

359
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,520
Yeah. She just needs some time.
Yeah. Time.

360
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:29,920
So she'll come back, then?
Definitely come back?

361
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,160
Can I say something?

362
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,280
Yeah.

363
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,360
Actually, can Lord Luck
say something?

364
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:41,560
All right.

365
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:50,720
She's not coming back.

366
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,600
Sorry?

367
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:58,000
She's not coming back, mate.
If she's run away, there's a reason

368
00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:01,560
and that reason is,
it's just not meant to be.

369
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,520
But... The thing is,

370
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,480
life's a bugger-r-r-r!

371
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:11,920
I'm sorry. Ben.

372
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:16,120
Bravo, Dad. Yeah.
What did you do that for?

373
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:19,680
What? It's true. I know it,
you know it. We all know it.

374
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,600
Your dad's right, Jonny.
She's not coming back.

375
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,720
Yeah. Who would come back to him?

376
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:27,600
He's such a miserable bastard.
Er, Pusface.

377
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,040
Go on, better see your friend.

378
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:35,480
Scraps!

379
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,000
Hey, mate.

380
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:42,040
Cab's going to be here in a minute.

381
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,640
Really?

382
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,480
Just looking at...

383
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,680
That was in Greece.
I loved her in that dress.

384
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:53,920
Is that the big carrot?

385
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:55,040
Mmm?

386
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,480
Nothing.

387
00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,880
Hey, mate, remember this?

388
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:03,960
What are you doing?

389
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,320
The good old days, eh?

390
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:06,520
I'm not sure you should...

391
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:08,040
Pusface! What?

392
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,320
Can you come here a minute?

393
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:10,880
Isn't it quite dangerous?

394
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,320
Nah, he'll love it.

395
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:14,960
Everything all right?

396
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,240
Yeah. Ben was just wondering...
Careful, Adam!

397
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:20,640
Shit! Ben! Ah, my back!

398
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,960
Oh, my God! What happened? It was
a joke. It was meant for Pusface.

399
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,520
Thanks. OK...

400
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:28,080
How many fingers am I holding up?

401
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:30,520
Please get that fucking thing
away from me.

402
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:31,760
Jackie!

403
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,120
Well, help him up. Help him up!

404
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:35,760
It's OK, Ben.

405
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,920
You are such an idiot, Jonathan.

406
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,120
God!

407
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,160
FIRE ALARM BEEPS

408
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:44,320
Where's the big carrot?
Just use the spoon!

409
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:46,440
Huh?

410
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,240
Oh, God!

411
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:51,520
BEEPING STOPS

412
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,040
I am so sorry, Ben.

413
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,640
Can you walk a bit?

414
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,120
Yeah, I think so.

415
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,320
Thank God. Any less depressed now?

416
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:00,880
Please stop asking that!

417
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:04,600
Maybe the pain has taken
his mind off the depression.

418
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:05,880
It really hasn't.

419
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:07,280
PHONE PINGS

420
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:08,800
Think my cab's here.

421
00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:11,680
Mind that.

422
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,360
One minute. Is something burning?

423
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:16,480
What?

424
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,480
Ohhh... Martin.

425
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,240
Shit on it! Shit on it!

426
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,680
I forgot the hob was on.
I forgot it was on!

427
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,920
Look at his face! Look at his face!

428
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:33,160
Dad... He looks like
the shitting Elephant Man.

429
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,440
The cab's here. Yes. Of course.

430
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:39,120
Thanks, though,
for everything tonight.

431
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,280
I'm sorry for being
such a pain in the...

432
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:44,840
My God.

433
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,360
LAUGHS: What happened?

434
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:49,640
Look at his face!

435
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,320
Look at his bloody face!
Looks like the Elephant Man.

436
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:54,040
HE LAUGHS

437
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,160
Brilliant!

438
00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:58,600
Brilliant.

439
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:03,720
Ah, brilliant!

440
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:08,480
Ah...

441
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:11,120
HE GROANS AND CARRIES ON LAUGHING

442
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,480
Well, at least
something cheered him up.

443
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:16,200
Ungrateful little sod!

444
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:17,520
Helloo!

445
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,880
God. Please, not now.

446
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,560
Everyone. Look what I made.

447
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:26,080
It's little Wilson.

448
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,960
Jim is my friend!

449
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,760
Jim is my friend! Jim is my friend!

450
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:37,280
Jim is my... Jim! Yes, Jackie?

451
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,160
Bugger off.